Bittersweet

While I was planning this trip I imagined so many amazing adventures I would take and the new experiences I would have.  I also imagined the new friends I would make and the new me I would become.  I never thought about the current friends I would be leaving behind, the family I would miss and the love that I cherish daily that I would be walking away from.

It seems contradictory to be so excited about leaving and miss the people you love tremendously in the process.  I see my life changing drastically and I know I will never be the same and neither will my relationships.  When we travel we make a sacrifice to some of the relationships we once had in order to grow.  I want to grow but change can be hard. I love my current life, my friends, the long relationship I have had with love but its time for a new me.  Maybe a better me.  Maybe just a different me.  I  know for sure I wont be the same.  I guess that's the point.

For anyone who ever saw the movie, "Eat, Pray, Love" I can say I feel as though I will have a similar experience.  I am not gone quite as long as in the movie (although I did only buy a one way ticket) but I think the impact will be just as intense.  This is my eat, pray, love experience.  I am becoming one with myself and the new world around me.

Many people have a journey like mine so I am not alone, but yet I am...alone.  Alone to make my own decisions.  Alone to live my own dreams.  Alone to enjoy my own passions.  Alone can be so freeing when you have nothing standing in the way of a Life Best Lived.  I plan on living it to the fullest every single day.  I intend on eating the foods I want, drinking the best wines I can find and tasting the happiness that comes from being free.  Oh so sweet.

However, although I have yet to land in Peru I already taste a bitterness on my tongue from the loved ones I miss.  I sit here writing this in the airport with a heavy heart trying to avoid any songs that will make me tear up.  I wont cry though.  At least not today.

This, for me, is the adventure of a lifetime.  I hope if you are reading this you realize how possible this is for you too.  Traveling the world is not for just the privileged or the wealthy or the special.  We all have the ability to live whatever life we want.  We just have to believe in ourselves to make all our dreams come true.  Every day I am one step closer to having the life I only imagined just a short few years ago.  I just tell myself I can and somehow I do.

So before all the cool pictures of mountains and shops and nightlife and people, from a place many will never see, I just open myself up to tell you that for today the journey to somewhere is bittersweet.